S.O.S. New York Part 2


I think you’re going to need those.” the bouncer said, looking at the ground. Three golden condoms laid in plain sight until I grabbed them to stuff into my pocket. They had come out conveniently with my I.D. that proved I was old enough to go into the club, Ritz.

“Thanks.” I said and went in. I touched my cheeks that felt warm from the waves of embarrassment. Getting laid was actually the furthest thing from my mind. I wouldn’t be able to reach the stoop of someone’s apartment before I’d begin to have regrets.

I pushed the rubbers all the way down until I felt their corners nibbling at my leg. Everywhere I looked were sexy-looking-men. Round and lean bodies that glowed in the darkness of the club. I needed to get closer.

Walking down a narrow hallway, the beat of music tumbled, chests balanced against one another, and I wound up in the middle of the dance floor. Men spun around me and spilling their beers, I wanted to be as carefree. I swayed side to side but the rhythm of music swam right past me. How do I do this? I must have mouthed the words because I noticed a pair of twinkling eyes staring at me. They belonged to a guy that was dancing with a bunch of people. Friends. He nodded for me to come over.71Qwx0Q4eaL._AA1000_

We had no introductions. Our feet passed around the beat of the music and when it was my turn I did it without any hesitation. Sometimes it’s not such a bad thing to lack confidence because then you meet new people. I felt the sweat running down my forehead.

By the time the guy and his friends exited the floor my shirt was soaked. The addiction had me wondering how I had ever been afraid to dance. With every new song my torso spun like there was a hook in it, pulling it, until releasing my hands into the air.

“You’re a good dancer.” somebody said. Their words were close to my ear. I had seen him come at me from across the room but only now realized we were dancing together.

“Thank you.” I said, feeling my hands along his back. Smooth muscle swayed beneath the cotton shirt. My hand moved up behind his neck when all of a sudden he took it and spun me around. Feeling the pulse behind my body I noticed there was something different in the way he moved. The itch in my pocket from the condoms threw me off balance but he caught us by placing his arms around my waist. His hold felt firm but not aggressive. I was comfortable to keep dancing.

“Do you wanna go outside?” He said.


S.O.S. New York Part 1


I was riding the train into Manhattan when a bell rang from the speaker and an electronic voice spoke. This was my first vacation in New York without a chaperone. I wasn’t about to call my parents saying that I was lost. Instead every imaginable Subway App was already downloaded onto my iPhone. The only problem was that there was no internet connection in the underground.

“Now arriving at 42nd Street.” the voice said. I shuffled my feet to the door. Like all the previous stops I had this one memorized. There was a sense of pride with every step out of the subway. I had seen right through the riddles of the city. From the streets of Park Slope, to switching trains because of construction, I was finally in Midtown. My friend Jesse greeted me on the intersection between 42nd Street & 8th Avenue.

“I’m so glad you made it!” She said. I brushed my shoulder. She didn’t have to know about the Subway Apps. We hugged before heading over to 46th street to meet up with another friend at a bar. Tonight all of us were going to celebrate the beautiful state of New York for passing the Marriage Equality Act only a night prior. When we arrived our fried surprised us with drinks.

“Normally Happy Hour would already be ova but they extend it for me.” she said. Her name was Liz and she was a red head who sounded much too like Lucy Ricardo. “They also don’t check I.D.’s so orda whateva you want.” She winked at my friend. We all extended a glass for cheers before ordering another round of drinks.

This all felt so rebellious, even though I was twenty-one it felt like I was still breaking the rules. Where I came from, a small town in Florida, the law seemed damp and lingering like the humidity. My friend wouldn’t have been able to sneak a drink and I wouldn’t have been allowed to get married.

“Why do they extend Happy Hour for you?” I said to Liz. She threw her hands up and explained that she in fact lived upstairs and knew the manager.

“It’s all about the connections you make.” Liz said through her nose. With that in mind I recalled the gay club across the street. I wanted to go but by the time it’d let out it would be much too late to go back into Brooklyn by myself. I might have had the Subway App but a body guard is something I couldn’t download. I mentioned this to Liz who smiled before saying, “You can stay with me of course darling!”

Closet Case Part 3- The Detour

Hello, Readers! (Those of you who have stuck with my story about The Closet Case, I sincerely thank you!). I am SO sorry for the lack of writing lately. Honestly, posting three three times a week is a very hard goal to do, though, that is no excuse for my week long drought. I was trying to tidy up my experience about The Closet Case in three short posts but alas our relationship was not that easy. The reason I decided to write about our relationship in the first place was because it really set up my current perspective on dating life. So I want to continue the series but not sell short the experiences. Thank you for continuing to read. Enjoy!




There once was a boy I always imagined being with. I saw him every day after school. The detour I took walking home was longer than the original path. He was always playing the guitar with a group of friends. They’d stand around outside a garage until retreating into the shade. I always waited on the outskirts with the sweat dripping down my nose, listening. Once they finished playing I untucked my shirt and pulled my pants below the hip. I wasn’t a cool kid like them but still wanted to be close.

I’d walk by very slowly until I spotted him. He was the one with long blonde hair. In the cool shadows of the garage he’d sit on an amp with a beer dangling in hand. I didn’t understand how someone could break the rules so easily. I knew he wasn’t twenty-one. My first instinct was to always run and tattle but I wouldn’t reach anyone fast enough. A couple of text books and binders would slow any kid down. So I kept walking until one day he spotted me.

We didn’t say hello. We couldn’t speak without someone noticing. Our two worlds were as far apart as a kid that drank beer illegally to the one that tattled on said rule breaker! I suddenly found myself wishing  a Nirvana t-shirt on me even though I had no idea who they were. Anything that could make me appear cooler seemed like a good option to make visible next time. He kept watching me though until the end of the street.

In the shelter of my bedroom I thought about the blonde haired boy. He floated above my head while I laid down with my hands wrapped around myself. In my imagination we rolled around on a mattress naked, kissing. He’d hold my head until walking his hand down my belly. His back felt smooth like the whip cream I dipped my finger in on every sundae. I tasted his lips while he played with my private parts. There weren’t what he was used to. His fingers had to roll over me more than once to become familiar with the territory. So I kept taking the detour after school.


Years later, him and I were lying naked together on his bed. I couldn’t believe he was really there but on my belly was proof. A white wash of cum I had asked him to paint. It still felt sticky though no longer warm.

“You don’t have to go.” He said quietly. It was the first time I was invited to stay the night. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was touched.

“You’re not worried?” I said, referring to his parents. I didn’t want to leave but I also didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. When I saw him shake his head in response I felt the corners of my mouth lift into the biggest smile.


Soon enough there he was between my legs with his lips on mine. Inside of me I felt “sex” but on the outside was his stare. The same one I saw on the detour home but this time our worlds were as close as could be. The wind from his mouth was the same one causing my heart to feel like a hurricane. It’s pulse was everywhere inside causing me to pant.

When it was all over I decided not to stay. I had a hefty load of college work to do back home. I told him that I’d be back the following evening before kissing him goodbye. If I had known that that was the last time I’d have any contact with him for three months I think I would have stayed…maybe.