I used to get confused on what to write about. Confused because what I wanted to write about was my life. The problem was everything in it seemed small and uninteresting. I studied, read books, worked out, downloaded music, danced, and served tables at a local diner. I still do these things, but somehow recently they all have blossomed.
It happened three months ago when I pushed my studies aside to let myself grow. Since then I have posted a blog, sung karaoke, taken dance lessons, and found out that I don’t want to serve for the rest of my life. These are the basic means to my happiness. How?
Well when I was in school my studies were the last thing I wanted to do. I remember scraping patience from the bottom of the bin just to write a vocabulary sheet. It was exhausting. There were bigger fish to be had like singing, dancing, writing a good story, playing the guitar, learning to rollerblade, and painting. They swam around my head and I just couldn’t keep up. After six years of pursuing one passion I realized others were passing by.
It wasn’t easy though to let go of “mental” comforts. Luxury is said to be owned by those whom can afford them, and college was supposed to support me with a Dream Job. A job that spared me from serving six hours a day for gas money. It was then that I had to ask myself if this was a worthwhile career and the answer was obviously No. I didn’t want to be the person that others called over for more gravy. I wanted to give people interesting things to talk about. I couldn’t do that without first knowing what captured my attention. Everything around me was still blurry. I realized if it took some time to clear my perspective then, for the moment, serving was justifiable.
Time can be defended but it cannot be saved. In the beginning the days rushed over me and I did nothing. I stayed in bed telling myself that I could do things later. What happens then is the bigger fish migrate and someone else reaps the benefits. Happiness I’ve learned is something that has to be seized in the moment, but the moment never comes if one is too lazy to reach out. So I grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled myself out…(To Be Continued).